\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Admittedly this may not be easy to do, especially when you are dealing with an angry spouse and your angry spouse is lashing out at you, but the calmer you can remain, the quicker your partner will get over his or her outburst. Enjoy! Many common strategies for reducing anger do not actually work. Heres your detailed guide on dealing with someone with anger issues. Learn how your comment data is processed. Its natural to feel angry sometimes. Relationship Bully What Is It And 5 Signs You Are A Victim, 13 Signs You Could Be In A Forced Relationship And What Should You Do, 5 Reasons And 7 Ways To Cope With Feeling Not Good Enough For Him/Her, 14 Signs Of A Tumultuous Relationship And 5 Tips To Fix It, How To Get Over A Breakup Fast? People may get mad at you. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. If youre living with an angry person, it can be difficult to manage your emotions and reactions. Youll explode at someone else if the opportunity presents itself. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. As a result, men might also have a harder. (2020). When dealing with anger from someone close to us, we often become defensive which only makes the situation worse. Do think about your own behavior This is where you need to be brutally honest with yourself. It can be really hard, but try to be empathetic to your partner's feelings even if you don't like their behavior. They dont even realize the magnitude of their behavior during fits of rage. Dealing with someone with anger issues can hence be tricky. The best way to not get angry at someone is by thinking about what makes you angry - and then doing everything you can not to let it happen again. This article will outline ten dos and donts, which can be helpful when you are dealing with an angry partner. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. The law of blame is that it eventually goes to the closest person. When using distraction, try to be mindful of interrupting the person or invalidating their feelings. Encourage them to explain why they feel angry, don't interrupt them while they speak, and keep on asking questions until they have fully explained themselves. Period. Dealing with anger starts by deciding how much of your, partners anger you are willing to tolerate. Here's how it works, what to expect in your first session, and what it is for, among other important. So if you can create a sense of emotional security, you may find that a lot of the anger can be diffused. Many marriages break apart because the couples did not know how to deal with anger issues or how to control anger and frustration in a relationship. Your partner may also need to take anger management classes on their own. Raise your own game, and keep your ego in check. When dealing with an angry person, it can be easy to let ourselves get agitated and respond with anger or an upset tone. The slightest threat or insecurity can cause them to flare up as a defense mechanism. onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jopy.12214, Feeling Stuck? Think before you speak. 1. Gently stop the person and ask how you can help them feel less angry. Thinking how to deal with an angry person in a relationship? (It's hurting our children as well.) The biggest challenge of living with a resentful or angry person is to keep from becoming one yourselfor else, the high contagion and reactivity of resentment and anger are likely to make you into someone you are not. Suppressing angry thoughts: trying to suppress and push your angry thoughts out of consciousness is likely to increase your anger over time and make it more difficult to control your emotions. An angry person may have a habitual way of expressing it. Why We Cheat on People We Love. When someone elses behavior is heightened, it can be easy to jump to the defensive. If your answer is no, then it may be time for you to walk away. These are all tried-and-true tricks that can be applied to any situation so keep reading! Avoid getting into a heated argument by taking responsibility for your actions if you are in part responsible for their emotions being triggered. If you dont feel safe, get away from the person. Be patient and kind. Unable to express or differently process how they feel, they prefer to simply 'vanish . This is where you need to be brutally honest with yourself. Explain calmly and rationally why their behavior is making things difficult for you and what steps they need to take for things to improve. When dealing with an angry husband or wife, do you allow yourself to be belittled, yelled at, and stonewalled or to be the recipient of any other form of abuse, whether emotional, verbal, or physical? When a partner experiences an emotional outburst, they are likely reacting to their partner's actions. Instead, they use the shot of adrenaline-driven energy and confidence that comes with resentment and anger in the same way that many of us are conditioned to make a cup of coffee first thing in the morning. She specializes in counseling for extramarital affairs, breakups, separation, grief and loss, to name a few. When we constructively deal with anger, it can lead to improved communication, better problem solving, and improved self-esteem. Warning Signs And Ways To Cope, He Blocked Me On Everything! What Does It Mean And What To Do About It, How To Stop Feeling Empty And Fill The Void, Lovesickness What Is It, Signs, And How To Cope, 9 Things To Be Mindful Of When Arguing With A Narcissistic Husband, 9 Signs You Are In A Right Person Wrong Time Situation, Relationship OCD: Symptoms, Causes & Tips To Deal With OCD, 10 Indisputable Signs Of A Codependent Relationship, 7 Reasons You Feel Uneasy In Your Relationship And 3 Things You Can Do, Upbringing in a household wherein being angry was normalized, Unresolved feelings about past trauma/abuse, Unexpressed grief from losing someone special, Symptom of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder/Bipolar Disorder, Response to unfair treatment/feeling invalidated, Feeling frustrated/powerless/threatened/attacked, Counting (letting the first impulse to react pass), Breathing slowly (yoga/meditation calms the mind), Taking a time-out and stepping back from the situation, I completely understand where youre coming from, If I were you, I would have also been devastated, I get it. The natural tendency of angry partners is to, blame you or someone else for their outbursts. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Do whatever it takes to avoid lashing out and saying or doing something you'll regret. all about love and couple relationships in their varied forms. One of the most important things can do when someone is angry at us is to stay calm. For instance, maybe your partner gets angry when theyre running late. Dealing with anger starts by deciding how much of your partners anger you are willing to tolerate and what you will not allow, informing your partner accordingly and, being prepared to defend and maintain that boundary line. Insulting them, or even saying things like You always do this is likely to make things worse. 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being. If you identify with any of these signs, then you need to seek help from a professional. Many of us have developed strategies for working through anger when it creeps up. In demanding change from your partner, your emotional demeanor is more important than the words you use, and it must stem from the deep conviction that he or she will not recover without learning to sustain compassion. They often feel offended by what they perceive as a general insensitivity to their "needs." Remember, you are responsible only for your own actions, not theirs. We celebrate the happy, imperfect love without judgment or bias, and strive to help people love more mindfully by viewing their relationship patterns from the lens of mental health and psychology. because the couples did not know how to deal with anger issues or how to control anger and frustration in a relationship. vent them through angry words or aggressive behavior A lifelong habit of suppressing emotions can make it harder to name and work through those feelings. As a result, they are likely to feel attacked by any attempt to point out the ways in which they are unfair, much less the effects of their behavior or others. Their anger is messing with their minds and yours too. It is always good to get an objective viewpoint because when you are embroiled in a situation, you may not be able to see things clearly at all.