jesper and wylan fanfiction

Van Eck escapes with Inej and the money, and Jesper speaks with Wylan, angry that he was the only one left in the dark about Wylan's disguise. She welcomed him into her arms, all perfect and softness in her arms. Oh yeah, I learnt that Jesper blushes when I run my finger down his arm. Wylan said it was a well known fact that everybody knew. It's a surprise, one youll love. Kaz replied, turning back to her face. Jesper grinned. He had a glint in his eyes. After the explosion Leo Valdez crash lands in Ketterdam. Well it comes easily when youre around. Wylan said blushing even harder, he looked like a tomato. So, what does it mean to Kaz? Jesper said angrily, he sighed, looking spent. She snuggled up to him. yeah, she came to my room last night asking if we could talk, so I said yes and we talked for awhile and she saw I was tired and told me to get into the bed and said we could split it. Kaz said, trying to get inspiration from the roof. "Says you.". He does not like being called a criminal yet takes pride in his knowledge of demolition. Then that's what you'll get but only that. Inej said, a sly look in her dark suli eyes. No momento,desfrutem de uma tarde agradvel entre Nina e Inej fofocando em um caf perto do porto como as dondocas ricas que so antes do caos chover sobre todos. Wylan quickly disappeared through the door, eager to be alone with Jesper. Wylan flushed such a vibrant pink, he had a little smile on his face. ? Jesper asked, his face had a cheeky look, his gray eyes glinted in the early dawn. Kaz went into Inejs room, he went into her bed. I want to make you blush, but it seems to be impossible. Wylan said, trying to flirt, he was horrible at it. Frightened and furious, Wylan initially stands up to Kaz, but Jesper encourages him to stand down. Jan Van Eck does indeed double cross the Crows. Stay. And Kaz might want to unravel hers too. Nina and Matthias seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely, but Wylan had assumed that was a once-in-a-million scenario. Could you do a fanfic with Jesper and Wylan? "Tomorrow," he scribbles a phone number on Jesper's wrist with a pen he had tucked behind his ear. Really? Well now I do feel like an idiot. Wylan said, tilting Jespers head down to his. Why are you always smiling? Wylan asked, truly curious about it. Dirtyhands and the Wraith.she whispered to him, chuckling a little. Yeah, Im gay. Jesper admitted. Wylan, disguised as Kuwei, often stands with Jesper on the deck of the Ferolind, but cannot tell Jesper he is Wylan. ? Kaz said, equally exasperated. Kaz followed him over to Inej. Using the diamond Inej stole from Heleen Van Houden, Wylan rigs together a makeshift drill that Jesper uses to cut a hole in the glass wall for Inej to jump through. WAFFLES! (Sorry if my english is bad but I'm french). His eyes closed, and Inej thought he must be used to enjoying the simple things in life. ( I posted this from my ao3, @/crowbrainactivate) Im coming with you, that stuff smells horrible. Jesper said, he was already on his way to the door of the Slat. Wylan expresses his fears to Jesper, and the two bicker nervously. They all looked at each other and nodded to each other, all mumbling little complaints to each other. His father told Wylan he was going to study music in Belendt, but instructed two of his guards to kill Wylan on the browboat as they left Ketterdam. Jesper tilted Wylans head up to his so he could see his eyes fully. ? they all asked at the same time. Inej pulled away slowly, Inejs face fully blushed, she looked happily dazed. What do you want to do with me right now? Wylan asked, moving his head closer to Jespers. I need that, you need it. Kaz said, staring back at her. Appearances Not if he gets you first she pointed out. Wylan defends Jesper to Kaz. With me. Rollins tries to get Kaz to surrender but Kaz uses the weevil Wylan made to burn a hole through Van Eck's floor and Wylan and Kaz escape and travel with Nina and Inej to the Geldrenner. A sparkle, something amused and curious and adorable. And to Wylans astonishment, Jesper blushed a vibrant pink! Tastes delicious. Nina drawled. Hed never been in a relationship. At sixteen, he is the youngest of the Crows, though he looks younger; Matthias Helvar believed his age to be twelve instead of sixteen. Wylan wants attention. You? When Inej reaches the roof, she sends a rope down for the others, and Wylan climbs to the top with Matthias. I'll send more after I finished Kaz's chapter! No one got to hurt her. "Would you like to get coffee? Jesper kissed the top of Wylan's head, drawing a hand under Wylan's chin to lift his head. For all Jesper Fahey has a reputation as a party-kid and a playboy, a flirt, a slut, a whore he really, really intends to make his arranged marriage agreement to the Van Eck heir work. He misses his friends and wonders if he made the right choice taking the physicians cure. Staying close but far away from her. Wylan brang his mouth up to Jespers, letting Jesper choose what he wanted to do. Jesper pulled Wylan close, burrowing in his red, silky hair. Wylan also cultivates a stronger relationship with Jesper Fahey. I wanna see if its true. Nina said, reaching out for Jespers arm. sixofcrows wylanxjesper # 4 The Lies They Tell by Bizzle_the_Hamilfan 259 7 6 A Wesper story set in the modern day where they're all theatre kids. Yes, you may if you say the magic words. Jesper said, smug creeping over his features. Inej is out of the country. Im leaving. Wylan turned on his heel promptly. So this fic takes place in a quick little pocket of time in between the actual happenings in Crooked Kingdom. Its one person, plus I can beat Jesper easily. Kaz said with a shrug. raising an eyebrow at the obvious tension between Jesper and Wylan. The children dont respect him and his colleagues make it look easy, so why is he still here? Eh. They live together in the Van Eck residence. Jesper Fahey is a Zemeni -born sharpshooter, a member of the Dregs, and one of the protagonists of the Six of Crows duology. - No , foco, a gente tem que comprar as mesas . He is also a Fabrikator . Was there such a thing? And now Jesper was standing in front of said Wylan, fiddling with a letter in his hands and having to tell the man hed been in love with for 2 years -who most definatly didnt feel the same- that he had told his wonderful father, they were dating and now said father wanted to meet him. "It was, well, it was good for me to." A story gets a little too real for comfort and wakes some memories Wylan would have preferred left quiet. She was taller now but still shorter than Kaz, who was standing next to her, his hand on her shoulder. She stopped crying and fell asleep, Kaz stroked her hair and tried to leave, but she held on tight even though she was asleep. In this story, Kaz, Jesper and Nina are best friends from high school. Wylan points out that maybe the reason why Jesper shoots so well is due to him using his powers, something that Jesper dismisses at first, saying that Wylan is cute but crazy, but it turns out to be important. Jesper weakens the links of the steel chain with his Fabrikator power and Wylan cuts at the metal with shears. Youre horrible at trying to do that. Jesper said, looking deeply with his light gray kaelish eyes. Oneshots about Kaz and Wylan's friendship. The crows attend Ketterdam university, struggle with classes, love, friendship and their past Inej starts her first year at university, moving in with her friend Nina in the dormitory. Kaz and Nina accidentally set off Yellow Protocol, so Wylan agrees with Jesper's suggestion to abandon the mission and leave while they still can. Well youre welcome. Wylan said, passing the other waffles and mugs of coffee to everybody else. Then you better be prepared cause Ill make you blush more. Jesper said, looking Wylan up and down. I thought it was please or something. Nina said, happy but confused. Basically just a little side story about the Six of Crows characters after the series. The Crows start a new year at University, battling unwanted crushes, past trauma and much more along the way. Kaz taught me his little trick Nina said with a shrug. tip: katekyou "alternate universe" sort:>words. I wish Matthias was here so I wouldnt be so lonely Nina sighed, she had a sad dreamy look in her eye. Wylan. Why did his name sound so wonderful coming from him? You're going to leave me alone with your waffles? Nina asked as she eyed their waffles. Im like Wylan, Im gay! Jesper said, confused at why she seemed so surprised. Oh, just the usual, he asked about us and if were a thing. Kaz replied, burrowing his head into the warm hollow of her neck. He figures hell be okay; hell find a way to fix this without burdening anyone. alternateuniverse fluff kazbrekker +14 more # 4 Brekker's Barrel by ali ridley 43.4K 942 19 This work could have adult content. To have someone to support you, to have someone that was always there for you. official art by Kevin Wada Relatives Pretty sure we still are, my sweet little Wraith. he whispered against her silky hair, burrowing deeper into the sweet hollow of her neck. Can I have my coffee now? Nina grumped, wiping the bits of applesauce around her face. Wylan never opened the letters. Yet it made sense, why should he help them, the crows. !Highest Rankings! "Who are you?" Wylan asked in the same tone of voice Jesper had asked. I dont know how you can drink that stuff. Kaz said as he sipped on his dark bitter coffee. read the tags lol-Basically, Captain Inej gets a letter while out at sea. Do we need to talk again? Jesper said getting up, still chuckling. She annoyed him like a sister and protected him like one too. Wylan pulled him close, letting their fingers intertwine. Luckily he knows how to make his thoughts quiet for a while. He knew that she had a bad past. basically a retelling of soc and ck but with soulmarks because i'm a sucker for a soulmates au. Anxious didn't even begin to explain how the boy felt, eyes glued to the scene taking place in the streets below. Here, let me try. Wylan said equally confused. While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Wylan agrees, despite knowing he may never look like himself again. Theres a difference between what you want and what you need. He sipped from his cup and grimaced. You wouldnt be bothered if you didnt care about me. Jespers eyes danced and he stepped closer, tilting his head to the side. Jesper pulled him close and put his chin on Wylans head. She knew he had one too. Later, Wylan! Jesper waggled his fingers over his shoulder. you shouldnt be doing this for him, he should know how to swallow his pride and come say it to my face. Jesper said, looking directly at Kaz, seeing if his mood changed at all, it had not. His teeth looked pure white against his dark skin. She rushed over to him, turning him around, trying to check his head. You guys better get up and get your sorry butts down there and explain to me what this is! Nina snapped, she turned on her heel and stomped down the stairs. "Where'd you come out of?" Jesper asked, wiping the dirt off of himself. That was before Jesper finished, super annoyed. What were you doing in her bed? Jesper! she cried as she hugged him tight. Kaz rounds up everyone for another mission, but Inej questions his motives. You dont get it do you? Too much, almost. And I regret it severely. he replied, looking like he just spilled coffee on his new shirt. Jesper . They doubled over laughing even more, Wylan, Jesper, Nina fell over. Jesper nodded and scooted over to the fireplace, neatly catching the box of matches Wylan threw him from his perch at Kaz's desk. Sort of. The boys discuss their likes and dislikes, then raise the gate, triggering Black Protocol. I cant decide if youre cuter when youre smart, or if youre cuter when youre stupid. Jesper said, getting a bit too close. Until Mattias. Until they lost Matthias. Now, what are you doing? Jesper said, but he knew what was going to happen. Jesper didnt know what happened to her there, but he knew it wasnt good. I guess you could say we might be a couple, but Im not quite sure, its really up to my Wraith. Kazs answer was practically a punch to Jespers gut. I was joking! In Six of Crows, Jesper endlessly teases Wylan and often makes him blush. He glared, angry and annoyed, and Jesper smiled, showing pink sugar and white teeth and beautiful, distended lips. Get off. was all Kaz said, his eyes were fully dilated and he had that dangerous burn to his ruff slate voice. So what did Jesper ask you before? Inej whispered against Kazs ear as they walked away from the group. Life couldn't be more boring for Jesper Fahey when he has to work long hours in his family's coffee shop, the Crow Caf. Fine, I'll prove it. So you did it just cause you could? Jesper cupped Wylan nape, Jesper could feel Wylans curls then the soft feel of his skin. Kaz tilted her head up to him and kissed her gently on the lips, his mouth was burning, but the desire for her was what kept him from sinking in his memory of ketterdam harbor. Welcome back to Ketterdam; it is still the same greasy Barrel Bucket you remember it as, but this time something has been changed. Wylan turned to the wall and thumped his head against it. I know you didnt mean to, but I liked it. Inej said lightly in his ear as she moved closer to him, he hesitated at first then welcomed her in his arms. I really cant believe youre mine. Jesper said. (Sorry, but Im a Kaznej ship fanatic). At that time, Van Eck told Wylan his mother grew ill and died, then refused to let Wylan go to her funeral. They've both had a similar experience. tip: "uchiha sasuke/uzumaki naruto" angst kudos>10, Their chemistry was undeniable, and they had fallen into their roles easily. Fine, but only cause I cannot read the signs. Wylan said, with a cheeky grin, running his finger down Jespers forearm. They never talked about it. Remember when we were the most feared people in the barrel? Do you want to talk about your hopes and dreams, then? Too much love? But Inej wants to unravel his secrets. Wait-. Wylan has kept up his music studies and Jesper has been practicing his Fabrikator abilities privately. Could you do a fanfic with Jesper and Wylan? Wylan- Jesper started after him, but at that moment, Inej poked her head out of a door and called for the two boys. Yes, I heard you before, Jesper said, obviously annoyed he was thought of as an idiot. Wylan is considerate, nice, and innocent, despite the fact that he is a part of the Dregs. We are all sorry, Kaz, but even you must admit it was a little bit funny. Inej said grudgingly,looking up at him with kind,thoughtful eyes. The two dress in the guards' uniforms and prepare to break the ringwall gate, but Wylan realizes the mechanism is not what he expected. save-the-dream-deactivated20170. 829 Stories. Wylan swallowed hard, wishing his emotions away. Youd be hard-pressed to find anyone but the mayor with more than a few dollars worth of pocket change to their name, not even enough to cover that nights dinner. No, did you hear what we said before? They both said in usion, looking at Jesper like he was an idiot. Wylan was not disappointed, Jesper followed him through the doorway. Based o Kaz Brekker is heartless, And Matthias is dead. Jesper pulled Wylan close, burrowing in his red, silky hair. Eye Color They both stayed that way for awhile, eventually they broke apart. Jesper just chuckled, Wylan just twiddled with his thumbs anxiously. O que nenhum deles haviam percebido era que Nina estava no armrio que ficava ao lado de Zoya escutando tudo . Orgasms ensue. Missing scenes from a choice of two locked doors. Jesper moved slowly back from them, arms still in mid air. He liked to know everything about everyone. You go say sorry to him Inej said. The latter responded by pointedly glancing at . Hed had crushes of course, but nothing as monumental as this. by Sappho 41K 993 21 "Ghezen, Jes, I'm so close" As a response he sucks harder and more aggressively. The truth was, they felt invincible. Wylan is still hesitant to commit any crimes, but upon learning the job would help Inej, all reluctance is gone. Really thats all you come up with? Nina asked, looking her up and down with a disbelieving eye. Wylan, your boy toy is broken. Nina grumped as she kept running her finger down his arm. Wylan smiled up at him and leaned against him slightly. The Tidemakers begin drawing the blood from their bodies and Wylan tells Jesper to Fabrikate the shards of metal on his clothes and Jesper kills the drugged Grisha allowing him and Wylan to escape. " you look so good, feel so good" I whisper. save-the-dream-deactivated20170. All characters belong to Leigh Bardugo. Inej finds herself dangerously tempted by the notion. Male Nina would figure it out but, she's too hurt. Thats it, Im outta here until she has finished. Wylan declared, having enough of Nina and her deliriously sweet sludge. Domestic Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck Jesper and Wylan go out drinking for the night and stumbled back into the Van Eck mansion together Based on the prompt "Will you marry me?"/"We already are married, now lay down you're drunk." but I altered it because they are children :) Language: English Words: 778 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 1 Kudos: 30 Bookmarks: Jesper barely heard Inej coming down the stairs, well she was the Wraith, but he heard Kazs uneven step. However, upon reaching Saint Hilde, they discover that Wylan's mother was not dead at all, but locked in an asylum by Jan Van Eck due to the fact that she had birthed a child that could not read. Its also super addictive. Orgasms ensue. Wylan Van-Eck was scared, this was a new type of torture. In the beginning, he goes with Jesper to meet his father, something that he was especially scared about. And Inej took Kazs face in her hands and kissed him even more. He also reveals that half of Kuwei's notebooks are full of drawings of Jesper. "You don't have to thank me, you know," he paused, tilting his head slightly as if searching for words. He didn't realize what came out of his mouth at first, oblivious to his words for a few seconds. Jesper doesn't have a boyfriend.What he does have is a best friend he's madly in love with that he just might have told his father he was dating. Inej was wrapping her arm around him, Nina was seeing his unhealed injuries from a fight he got into. Well me and Wylan are pretty tired, so I think we should head home to Geldstraat Jesper said sadly, looking at Wylan, who could barely keep his eyes open. - disse Wylan He has to leave, he can't face the shame of what he just said. For a moment forgetting they weren't alone. Im not. He turned back around reluctantly, hoping he had successfully adopted an expression of nonchalance, but Jespers smile growing probably meant it hadnt. I cant think when youre that close. Wylan said, obviously pleased but trying to hide it. Okay, lets do this. Inej said grinning ear to ear. You look so mature. Inej and Nina cried at the same time, both rushing to hug him. In Crooked Kingdom Jesper kiss accidentally Kuwei because he thinks he's Wylan.. Log in Sign up. Jesper says that he does, as regularly as possible and Wylan says "so what's the problem?" You knew that right? Kaz asked, he felt like a complete idiot for daring Jesper to do that. I wonder why? Yeah, me too. Inej said, seeing where this was going. They all burst out laughing, doubling over. It was surprising, but she didnt mind. This is based on an amazing headcannon by @lost_for_words (lady-of-insomniacs on tumblr) , thank you very much for giving me permission to write a fic based on it!! Well thats what we did. Nina replied, looking slightly hurt. Wy- Jesper barely got the first few letters out before Wylan was rising to his feet, stiffly marching to the door. stay here with me, please dont go. was all she pleaded, tears silently running down her face. What about what you want? These are just some head cannons I have for the Grishaverse mostly six of crows so yeah. Give me my coffee or Ill get my army of undead to come hunt you down until I get my coffee! They had an understanding. - disse Jesper. She sighed into his warm embrace, he never did things like this. She knew he had one too. I don't know how I've gone all my life without Jesper and his talented mouth. Spoilers from Crooked Kingdom. You and Matthias did it all the time, so why cant we? Inej asked, her face flushed deep red, hair ruffled. hades-librarian. Its my fault for coming in here. he whispered in her ear, he turned to go but she hung onto his sleeve, not letting him leave. ! Nina said bewildered, All the Saints and your Aunt Eva. Jesper swore. Kaz and inej are also in love with each other because i love them so much and i would die to have them interact more but Those words, tattooed on their skin. I don't really know. He wants it to, at least, even if what he wants rarely ever ends up mattering. Youre not wrong. Wylan shrugged tightly. Nina reeled back as if it was a punch to her gut. Do you still have the diamond choker?, Kaz asked, cause it would be a great bargaining chip. he finished. Kaz is still known as Dirtyhands. Aww. Nina whined, now trying to get to Kazs waffles. Really? Why dont you guys stay here tonight? Kaz said, not wanting their time together to end. Kaz has Nina, under the effects of jurda parem, tailor Wylan to look like Kuwei in case Van Eck tries to double cross them. Nina,stop messing with them. Inej scolded like a mother scolding a child for saying something stupid. An inevitable part of the fact were going to spend the rest of our lives together., Cheery, Jesper mutters. Wylan accompanies Kaz to his father's house on Geldstraat to steal the seal. Or will he and Inej enter into something more, like real people do? Well we all have hidden traits. Inej said, taking it all in beside Kaz. ", or: Jesper is Plumje's kindergarten teacher, Wylan is Plumje's brother, and Jesper falls pathetically in love with Wylan from the first time they meet, "Inej Ghafa uma dama suli que est aproveitando tudo o que pode de sua juventude ao lado de sua amiga Nina longe dos olhos da sociedade.Em um de seus passeios perto do Barril,se depara com algo horrvel e promete fazer justia.S no imaginava que encontraria isso e muito mais ao lado do criminoso mais lendrio de l: Mos Sujas.Kaz entende o quanto as motivaes de uma pessoa a influencia e acredita que Inej pode se tornar algo poderoso se for treinada.Nenhum deles contava com o surgimento que surgiria entre os dois o quo desafiador seria sobreviverem a isso.Nina uma dama vista como inconsequente por sua tia Zoya,que contrata um guarda-costas fjerdano para dela.E assim que se conhecem,Nina decide que o quer mais que qualquer coisa na vida e vai lutar para t-lo.E sim,essa a histria de como seis herdeiros ricos se envolvem em crimes e se tornam uma gangue do mesmo jeito,bem do jeito SoC de ser.". give it a go. Jesper said, bringing his arm up from his side. After Jesper is captured by Jan Van Eck he is helped to escape by the redhead we all know and love. BANG! He is the kindest out of the Dregs, and is very caring but calculated. Now Colm wants to meet said boyfriend. Whatcha laughing bout? Jesper said as he caught up to Wylan, finding him chuckling to himself. It is you! Jesper cried as he hugged her back. A brief collection of some Wesper scen A Wesper story set in the modern day where they're all theatre kids. Well hes incapable of doing it. she replied. We told you before, its amazing, the greatest thing in the world. Inej said leaning on Kaz, he pulled her close. - disse Wylan - Mas.. - disse Jesper - Mesas. Wylan cannot reveal himself to her as her own son, but he talks to her and finds out that she is suffering. . With the rest of the crows of course. "I really can't believe you're mine." Jesper said. It was a full five minutes before they started to move again. Ive never seen you blush before. He relished in the slight pulsating sensation as Jesper spilled down his throat, pulling away quick enough that one last rope caught on his lips. No. Wylan crossed his arms tighter over his chest. 16 (Six of Crows duology)17 (King of Scars duology, estimated) Wylan Van Eck Affiliation You guys shouldnt laugh at me, otherwise Im not the worst thing in the barrel anymore. U-uh. Oh, so those are the magic words. Its not a little-known fact. But now, in the present and himself quite tipsy as well, he only found utter adoration for the silly behavior. Wylan was blushing so hard it looked like he might burst, but he nodded and went up on tiptoe. Jesper estava em uma cadeira lendo um livro sobre cabras e bodes. Yeah why not, let's go then Wylan said, happy to get to bed and sleep. He pulled her closer to him. After a few weeks, Genya Safin tailored Wylan back to his original appearance. Wylan looked like he would physically throw up his waffles, Kaz and Inej looked confused, Jesper just looked down right disgusted, Nina looked content with her sweet sludge. She annoyed him like a sister and protected him like one too. - Ele no vai jogar. Luckily I knew Nina would do something like that, so I bought even more. Wylan said as he pulled out little packets of applesauce from his pockets. It is super boring here. Jesper complained, rolling his eyes with an overly exaggerated sigh. He dropped his bare hand that had been on her shoulder. When the Dregs are ambushed trying to leave the Ketterdam harbor, Wylan is terrified in the shootout. Wylan feels like an idiot. If they did, they got Kaz's wrath. Physical Information I-I um it was great Inej stuttered awkwardly, looking at Kaz for guidance. So is anyone going to explain what we saw before? Wylan asked, looking at his shoes. Im going with you. Cause it makes you blush like an idiot. Jesper replied, grinning. Nina was alone in her room, Jesper and Wylan shared a room in the room next to Ninas, Kaz still slept on the top floor, Inej slept on the floor underneath Kazs, their floors were the only floors with one room in them. Probably cause youre here with me. Jesper said, they were so close now that they were basically touching. Status Shady, rude, and cold, he's known for his stark efficiency in getting the job done, not for swooning girls. He tells him to breathe and then leans forward and kisses Jesper, then Jesper says "Wylan, I really hope we don't die.". Wylan calls Kaz 'Dad' and consequently freaks tf out. They were as mortal as anyone else. What anyone think if Dirtyhands wa Jesper is a college student who meets a cute boy who works at his favorite caf. Work Search: tip: lex m/m (mature OR explicit) 1 - 20 of 1956 Works in Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck. Later, in return, Jesper agrees to go with Wylan to visit his mother's grave at Saint Hilde. Inquisitive Wylan spends time reconstructing the mechanisms of everything in the Court and questioning Jesper's role in the heist. Jesper kissed Wylan deeply, Kaz watched them with intent eyes. The title says it all. You do it too well. Wylan said stubbornly. . Well Im still tired, plus I want to go check up on my Mum. Wylan said, trying to make himself look presentable for his Mum but Jesper kept ruffling his hair. Aboard the Ferolind, Wylan tells Kaz that he cannot read or write. Im gonna make you blush more now that I know what makes you blush. Wylan declared, triumph clear in his voice. Jesper, Id get away if I were you. Wylan warned, pulling at his sleeve, he remembered that burn from that one time. The Dregs While disguised as Kuwei on the return trip to Ketterdam, Wylan liked to watch Jesper; however, he could not talk to him without revealing he was not Kuwei. Inej snuggled up to him again. Wylan was pleased he was remembered. He sometimes wondered what it would be like. 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